Parenting Tools: Kids and Drug/Alcohol Use

It seems, that in today’s increasingly complex world, children appear to be “growing up” at an accelerated pace. At younger and younger ages, children and teens feel compelled to behave in ways they believe to be more “adult like”. Unfortunately, experimentation with drugs and alcohol is one of the more common symptoms of “pre-mature” adult behavior.

As with adults, but even more so with the still developing minds and bodies of children and teens, drug and alcohol use can cause significant harm. It important for parents, teachers, and counselors to have some understanding of potential warning signs and what to do should they suspect their child is engaging in drug/alcohol related activity.

Signs of Drug Use in Children and Teens:
Change of friends.
Be especially wary if your child begins to interact with older friends.
Known or suspected use of drugs by friends of your child.
Extreme changes in mood, moodiness, or increased irritability
Carelessness about personal appearance and grooming
Isolating from family members
Increased defensiveness
Decreased interest in favorite activities
Altered sleep or eating patterns
Diminished performance at school and truancy
Increased disciplinary problems
Troubles with the law (DUI’s, shoplifting, disorderly conduct)
Red or glossy eyes; constant running nose
Family history of alcohol and/or drug problems
Missing money, alcohol, or prescription drugs
Finding suspected drug paraphernalia ( i.e. pipes, butane lighters, rolling papers)

Awareness and maintaining an active and caring interest in your child’s well being is the most important aspect of minimizing child/teen drug problems. If you suspect that your child is using drugs or alcohol, it is most important that you address the issue as soon as possible.

Here are some ways to address this issue w/ a child:

Approach your child from a place of concern rather than anger
Inquire and ask questions but avoid the temptation to directly accuse
Be specific as to what you see, hear and smell that leads you to believe there may be a problem
Expect your child to be defensive; stay as cool and calm as you can
Set limits and use appropriate consequences for unhealthy or unacceptable behaviors
Continue to get education on substance abuse and parenting tips

If troubling behaviors and warning signs persist or worsen, seek professional help. Professional Toolbox Consultants are located in Plantation, Florida (954-741-1099).

New Years New You

The New Year is a time when people reflect on the year gone by, but more importantly it is a time when many people make promises to themselves to live their lives in a more effective manner. The most common New Years Resolutions revolve around being healthier, improving financial situation and/or strengthening family, work and social relationships. Surveys indicate that the majority of people who make new years resolutions are confident that they are going to be able to keep them. However further research indicates that less than 20% of these people actually achieve their goal. The following are some tips you can use that greatly enhance your ability to accomplish whatever you set out to do.

· State your goal in behavioral terms (Instead of saying “I want to be healthier”, define what behaviors you plan to utilize to achieve this goal).
· Make sure that your goal is measurable
· Set goals that are realistic
· Focus on behaviors that you personally control.
· Make sure that the goal you set is for you, not somebody else.
· Tell others about your goals and utilize family and friends as support.
· Write your goals on a piece of paper where you can see it often.
· Monitor your progress. Reward yourself for any move in a positive direction.

Be open to trying new behaviors if some you are already using are not working.
· Focus on “progress not perfection”

Setting goals and achieving them, especially when they entail making lifestyle changes, is often frustrating. Seeking the guidance and coaching of a professional can often increase your chances of success by helping you identify and define goals more effectively and providing support and encouragement in helping you to stay on task. To discuss in more detail how you can make effective changes in your professional and personal life call the the professionals at PTC (954) 741-1099.

Just a reminder PTC posted an entry on October 22, 2008 "Coping Tools for the Holidays" ...hope you check it out. Have a great holiday season. PTC

Mortgage Info & Referral

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to give everyone a great referral. I recently went through the tough task of getting a mortgage. Luckily, I had the most honest and patient mortgage broker. I just wanted to send out a big thank you to Scott (my mortgage broker) and Kelly (my loan processor). Thank you guys for your hard work, diligence and patience. And for the readers out there... if you are in need of their services the info is below:

Ace Mortgage Loan Corp.
10181 W. Sample Rd Ste 206
Coral Springs, FL 33065
Ph: 954.777.4774
Fx: 954.777.5115

Thank you, Lisa at PTC

Relaxation Tips

We received an email from massagetherapycareers.com blog...they wanted to share their tips on relaxation to PTC readers. So check out the link below.





http://www.massagetherapycareers.com/blog/2008/100-illustrated-relaxation-exercises-for-your-mind-body-and-soul/

Coping Tools for the Holidays

Holiday time is traditionally perceived as a time of joy and festivity. For many however, the holidays bring about what is commonly referred to as the “Holiday Blues”. Holiday Blues can range from mild sadness and just feeling stressed to symptoms of severe anxiety and/or depression. For many, holiday time can magnify difficulties that have been present all year long but become intensified due to the pressures of trying to promote the holiday spirit. Family/relationship issues, grief and loss, financial strain, and time constraints are common sources of increased emotional distress. Unrealistic expectations and difficulties setting healthy boundaries increase the potential of feeling overwhelmed during the holiday season.

Here are some tips to help you manage the most common triggers of holiday distress:

Unrealistic Expectations:
* Don’t expect perfection of yourself or others. Driving yourself to exhaustion will not create a happy holiday for you or your loved ones.
* Simplify family traditions that may be too much work or that are not conducive to an already hectic lifestyle.
* Prioritize invitations and do not feel compelled to attend every holiday event.

Family Issues:
* Set differences aside
* Accept family members and friends as they are, not who you wish them to be.
* Avoid using holiday gatherings as a time to resolve old and recent grievances.
* Be supportive of others who may be feeling negatively. Remember they may be experiencing the same holiday stress that you are.

Financial Strain:
* Before you go shopping, decide how much you can afford to spend on gifts or other holiday expenses.
* Stick to your budget.
* Remember that you can not truly buy happiness, love or acceptance.
* Explore ways to express holiday cheer that do not cost lots of money.
* Find ways to share expenses with others especially in regards to gift giving and event planning.

The most important thing to remember during this time of year is to be true and good to yourself. This means setting boundaries with others and making time to care for yourself. Focus on making this holiday season as joyful as possible. If you don’t feel merry for whatever reason, share your feelings with loved ones and let them know what you need from them.

Clinical Supervision for MSW's and Mental Health Counselors

Lisa gets several emails a month re: Licensed psychotherapists and interns that want us to post tools and skills. Therefore we have decided to add posts that will provide tools and skills for psychotherapists and interns. If you are an intern in South Florida, We provide Qualified Clinical Supervision for MSW and Mental Health Counselor interns in Florida. 

Lisa Friedman, LCSW has been a clinical supervisor since 1999. Lisa is also a Qualified Clinical Supervisor in the State of Florida. She has experience working with issues such as, wellness, mental health, psychiatric disorders, dual diagnosis, homeless, HIV/AIDS, trauma, and eating disorders. The populations she has served include children, adolescents, adults and the elderly. She utilizes a consultation and toolbox (eclectic) approach to clinical supervision. Lisa typically sees Licensed Psychotherapists, as well as supervises masters level social workers and mental health interns individually or in small groups. Lisa and Shan Monroe LCSW provide exam preparation and coaching to assist MSW's in taking the ASWB clinical social work exam.  Lisa and the other therapists provide these services virtually.

https://lisafriedmanlcsw.com/Clinical-Supervision-.html

Parenting Tools: Expectations

All parents have expectations of their children. Setting and communicating these expectations in a healthy manner goes a long way in helping children achieve their maximum potential.

There are two primary types of expectations that can be established for kids. The first type is behavioral. Behavioral expectations demonstrate character traits that parents would like to see in their children. These may include things like manners, ambition, perseverance, respect, and the ability to take responsibility.

The second type of expectations is achievements. Achievements are based on your child accomplishing specific objectives such as developing friendships, earning certain grades, or making a team.

It is important that that the expectations you set are realistic. Expectations that are set too high or do not match your child’s personality, strengths, age, or interests can lead to all kinds of negative stress for you and your child.

Here are some helpful tips you can utilize establish healthy expectations:
· Talk to your child often so you can understand his/her strengths, weaknesses, and interests.
· Make sure that you communicate your expectations clearly and specifically.
· Ensure that your child has the resources, education, and support needed to reach set standards.
· Make sure your child knows how they, not you, benefit from meeting certain expectations and goals.
· Emphasize unmet expectations as opportunities for learning and growth as opposed to being examples of personal failure.
· Remember that your actions speak louder than words.
· Avoid using “do as I say, not as I do” as a primary parenting philosophy.