Coping with Grief and Loss After the Death of a Loved One

 Coping with Grief and Loss After the Death of a Loved One

The death of a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences we face in life. Grief is a natural response to loss, but it can feel overwhelming and isolating. Understanding that grief is a process and knowing some coping strategies can help you navigate through this difficult time.

Understanding Grief

Grief is a complex and individual experience. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique.

Coping Skills for Grief and Loss

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Give yourself permission to feel the pain and sorrow. Bottling up emotions can prolong the grieving process. Cry if you need to, and express your feelings in a way that feels natural to you.

2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Talking about your loved one and sharing memories can provide comfort. Professional counselors/therapists can also offer valuable support and guidance.

3. Take Care of Yourself: Grief can take a toll on your physical health. Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity. Avoid using substances like alcohol or drugs to numb the pain.

4. Create Rituals: Rituals can provide a sense of closure and help you honor your loved one. This could be a memorial service, lighting a candle, or visiting a special place that reminds you of them.

5. Find Creative Outlets: Expressing your feelings through art, writing, or music can be therapeutic. Keeping a journal to document your thoughts and emotions can help you process your grief.

6. Stay Connected: Isolation can worsen feelings of sadness and loneliness. Stay connected with your social circle, even if it’s just a phone call or a text message.

7. Be Patient with Yourself: Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Be patient with yourself and don’t rush the process. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to have good days and bad days.

8. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you find that your grief is overwhelming and interfering with your daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. Therapists/counselors specializing in grief can provide tools and strategies to help you cope.

Moving Forward

While the pain of losing a loved one may never fully go away, it can become more manageable over time. Remember that it’s okay to find joy and happiness again.

Grief is a testament to the love and connection you shared. By honoring your loved one’s memory and taking care of yourself, you can find a way to move forward while keeping their spirit alive in your heart.

Coping with the death of a loved one is a deeply personal journey. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to find what works best for you. By allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and finding ways to honor your loved one, you can navigate through this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

How to help your tween/teen learn how to decrease stress

 How to help your tween/teen learn how to decrease stress

Parenting tweens and teens can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. One of the biggest challenges is helping them navigate the stressors that come with growing up. From school pressures to social dynamics, tweens and teens face a unique set of stressors. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help your child learn how to manage and decrease stress effectively.

1. Understanding Stress in Tweens and Teens

Before diving into solutions, it’s crucial to understand what stress looks like in this age group. Stress in tweens and teens can manifest as:

-Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, fatigue

-Emotional Symptoms: Irritability, anxiety, depression

-Behavioral Changes: Changes in sleeping or eating patterns, withdrawal from activities, decline in academic performance

2. Create an Open Communication Channel

Encourage your child to talk about what’s bothering them. Open, non-judgmental communication can help them feel supported and understood.

-Listen Actively: Give your full attention, validate their feelings, and avoid interrupting.

-Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking “Are you okay?” try “What’s been the most stressful part of your day?”

3. Teach Stress-Management Techniques

Introduce your tween/teen to various stress-management techniques to help them find what works best for them.

-Deep Breathing Exercises: Teach them to take deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth to help calm their nervous system.

-Mindfulness and Meditation: Encourage them to spend a few minutes each day practicing mindfulness or meditation.

-Physical Activity: Regular exercise is a powerful stress reliever. Encourage activities they enjoy, whether it’s sports, dancing, or yoga.

4. Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Choices

A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Help your tween/teen make lifestyle choices that can reduce stress.

-Balanced Diet: Ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

-Adequate Sleep: Set a regular sleep schedule and make sure they get enough rest. Limit screen time before bed to improve sleep quality.

-Hydration: Encourage them to drink plenty of water throughout the day.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

Help your child set realistic academic and personal goals. Unrealistic expectations can lead to increased stress and feelings of failure.

-Break Tasks into Manageable Steps: Teach them how to break down large projects into smaller, manageable tasks.

-Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small.

6. Foster Strong Social Connections

Social support is vital for stress reduction.

- Encourage Friendships: Help them maintain healthy friendships and be supportive of their social life.

-Family Time: Regular family activities can provide a strong support system and a sense of security.

7. Model Healthy Stress Management

Be a role model by managing your own stress in healthy ways. Your child is likely to imitate your behaviors.

-Share Your Strategies: Talk about how you manage stress and demonstrate these techniques.

-Stay Calm: Try to remain calm in stressful situations to show them that it’s possible to stay composed under pressure.

8. Seek Professional Help When Needed

If your child’s stress seems overwhelming and persistent, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

-Counseling: A counselor or therapist can provide tools and strategies to manage stress.

-School Resources: Utilize school counselors and support programs.

Helping your tween/teen manage stress is an ongoing process that requires patience, understanding, and support. By fostering open communication, teaching effective stress-management techniques, and creating a healthy environment, you can empower your child to handle stress in a positive and productive way. Remember, the goal is to equip them with lifelong skills that will help them navigate the ups and downs of life.

10 Effective Ways to Decrease Everyday Worry

 10 Effective Ways to Decrease Everyday Worry

Worrying is a natural part of life, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can take a toll on our mental and physical well-being. Whether it's about work, relationships, health, or finances, finding effective ways to manage and reduce everyday worry is crucial. Here are ten strategies to help you decrease daily worry and live a more balanced life.

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for reducing worry. They help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the tendency to ruminate on the past or future.

-How to Start: Begin with just 5-10 minutes of mindfulness or meditation each day. Apps can guide you through the process.

2. Develop a Worry Journal

Writing down your worries can be a therapeutic way to manage them. It helps to clear your mind and allows you to see your concerns more objectively.

-How to Use It: Set aside a specific time each day to write down your worries. This practice can help limit the time you spend worrying.

3. Engage in Physical Activity

Regular physical activity is not only good for your body but also for your mind. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.

-Types of Exercise: Choose activities you enjoy, whether it’s walking, running, swimming, yoga, or dancing.

4. Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle

A healthy lifestyle can significantly reduce your stress levels and help you manage worry more effectively.

-Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

-Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night to keep your body and mind well-rested.

-Hydration: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and alert.

5. Limit Exposure to Stressors

Identify and limit your exposure to sources of stress and worry. This might mean reducing the amount of time you spend on social media or watching the news.

-Set Boundaries: Create boundaries around your time and energy. Learn to say no to activities or commitments that add unnecessary stress.

6. Practice Deep Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing exercises can help calm your mind and body, reducing feelings of anxiety and worry.

-Technique: Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique—breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.

7. Focus on What You Can Control

Worry often stems from trying to control the uncontrollable. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.

-Action Steps: Make a list of things you can control and take proactive steps to address them. For things beyond your control, practice acceptance and let them go.

8. Stay Connected with Loved Ones

Strong social connections can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of worry.

-Regular Interaction: Make time to connect with friends and family regularly, whether it’s through phone calls, video chats, or in-person meetings.

9. Engage in Hobbies and Interests

Engaging in activities you enjoy can distract you from your worries and provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.

-Find Your Passion: Whether it’s reading, gardening, painting, or playing a musical instrument, make time for activities that bring you happiness.

10. Seek Professional Help

If your worry becomes overwhelming and interferes with your daily life, seeking professional help can be beneficial.

-Therapy: A therapist can help you develop coping strategies and provide support.

-Support Groups: Joining a support group can help you connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges.

Worrying is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can reduce your worry and improve your overall well-being. Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and being consistent with your efforts. Over time, you’ll likely find that your worries become more manageable, allowing you to enjoy life more fully.

Parents Navigating a New School Year

The summer season is winding down which means ‘back to school” is just around the corner. The start of the new school year can be stressful on kids and unfortunately parents often take the brunt of their children’s emotional angst. Here are some tips to help you and your kids get through this potentially difficult time.

First, try to keep in perspective what your kids are experiencing at the beginning of a new school year. Imagine what it is like for you to start a new job, with a new boss with a new work load that is significantly greater in quantity, intensity and difficulty (With no rai$e). Add to this, the need to adapt to increased social and peer pressure. And don’t forget having to manage all this your while your entire physiology is continuously changing and developing (especially for teens and pre-teens). Keeping this in mind can help you to be more patient and understanding.

Other tips include:

• Demonstrate genuine interest in your child’s personal and academic life.
• Spend time daily listening and talking about what your kids are experiencing in their lives.
• Nurture self esteem and confidence by encouraging and praising effort. Also help your kids set and work towards goals that match their skills and interests.
• Learn to provide appropriate guidance and discipline. Remember that children of all ages need parental support in establishing healthy and appropriate structure and balance. Be firm, kind and realistic about expectations. Also remember your job as parent is to “guide not control”.
• Encourage your kids to participate in physical activity on a daily basis.

Expect some kids to be more resistant or to act out more than others. However, patience, understanding, and persistence on your part can go a long way to providing the support and caring your child will need to adapt and excel at any grade level. If problems persist do not hesitate to utilize professional support. PTC

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

 Amidst the glittering lights and festive cheer, the holiday season can bring a whirlwind of stress. Balancing family obligations, social events, and the quest for the perfect celebration can take a toll on well-being. Here are some practical tips to help navigate and alleviate stress during this bustling time:

1. Prioritize Self-Care: Dedicate time for relaxation and activities that bring joy.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Manage your expectations and recognize that perfection is not the goal.

3. Plan and Organize: Create a schedule to avoid last-minute chaos, allowing for a more relaxed experience.

4. Learn to Say No: Don't overcommit; it's okay to decline invitations and focus on your well-being.

5. Delegate Tasks: Share responsibilities with others to lighten your load and promote a sense of teamwork.

6. Stay Active: Incorporate physical activity into your routine to combat stress and boost your mood.

7. Practice Mindfulness: Take moments for deep breathing or meditation to stay present and grounded.

8. Connect with Others: Share your feelings and experiences with friends or family members for support.

9. Celebrate Imperfections: Embrace the beauty of imperfect moments, recognizing they are part of the holiday tapestry.

10. Reflect and Gratitude: Take time to reflect on positive aspects of your life and express gratitude.

This holiday season, consider these strategies to unwrap a sense of serenity, allowing you to savor the moments that truly matter.

*For professional support, call the therapists at: www.lisafriedman.com or call us at 954-741-1099

Anger Management Tools

Here are some tools and skills to help manage anger:

Relaxation Techniques


• Deep Breathing
• Counting to 10
• Imagery or meditation

Rational Thinking and Self-Talk

• “Just stay cool, getting angry won’t help”
• “I am in control, I can walk away instead of losing it”
• Avoid being “demanding”
• Think in terms of “cooperation” rather than “winning”
• Avoid rigid thinking
• Challenge your “shoulds” and “musts”
• Increase insight into what battles are worth fighting; also be aware of the price of winning/losing.

Behavioral Techniques

• Talk about it
• Physical Activity (esp. cardio-vascular exercise)
• Walk away
• Practice assertiveness
• Thought stopping techniques
• Distraction techniques
• Avoid labeling
• Rehearse healthy “self-talk” for times you are likely to become angry
• Lower your voice


Tips in Diffusing Anger in Others

Most important keep yourself safe……if this is physical get to a safe place!!!!!

1. Stay calm
2. Keep voice low and even ( stop escalation)
3. If physically safe, sit down to model you are not a threat
4. Being non-defensive
5. Listen to what is being said
6. Focus on the issue not the other person’s behaviors
7. Be empathetic
8. Avoid advice giving
9. Avoid telling the other person how they feel or how to feel
10. Admit when you are wrong, but do not apologize when not responsible

At Professional Toolbox Consultants, we can help provide you with the tools and skills you need to manage your anger.  Give us a call at (954) 741-1099

New Year New You

The New Year is a time when people reflect on the year gone by, but more importantly it is a time when many people make promises to themselves to live their lives in a more effective manner. The most common New Years Resolutions revolve around being healthier, improving financial situation and/or strengthening family, work and social relationships. Surveys indicate that the majority of people who make new years resolutions are confident that they are going to be able to keep them. However further research indicates that less than 20% of these people actually achieve their goal. The following are some tips you can use that greatly enhance your ability to accomplish whatever you set out to do.

• State your goal in behavioral terms (Instead of saying “I want to be healthier”, define what behaviors you plan to utilize to achieve this goal).

• Make sure that your goal is measurable

• Set goals that are realistic

• Focus on behaviors that you personally control.

• Make sure that the goal you set is for you, not somebody else.

• Tell others about your goals and utilize family and friends as support.

• Write your goals on a piece of paper where you can see it often.

• Monitor your progress. Reward yourself for any move in a positive direction.

Be open to trying new behaviors if some you are already using are not working.

• Focus on “progress not perfection”

Setting goals and achieving them, especially when they entail making lifestyle changes, is often frustrating. Seeking the guidance and coaching of a professional can often increase your chances of success by helping you identify and define goals more effectively and providing support and encouragement in helping you to stay on task. To discuss in more detail how you can make effective changes in your professional and personal life call counselors at PTC ( 954-741-1099).

Have a safe and happy New Year!!